Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Throwing a Fit Friday

This is where you SHOULD find my fit Friday post. Hosted by the beautiful and getting fit Missy! However, I have officially given up trying to be a hottie for the holidays, I will resume efforts on January 1st. I will continue to do my best and try to exercise, but the fact of the matter is, I am worn slap out and when you never get into bed before midnight or 1 a.m. it is just too dang hard to drag your booty out of bed at 5 to exercise! I am trying. I made it three days this week (at least I hope...I am optimistically typing this Thursday night assuming I will get up Friday, which I need to do because when I am through typing I am going to go sit on the couch with Tigerfan, watch House Hunters, eat popcorn and peanut M&M's and drink a Diet Coke and there is NO SHAME!). I ate okay, I have no idea what I weigh. One day I weighed in at 133 and did the "happy dance" but let's face it, the scales lie, so if I stepped on it now, it could say 139 and I would slip into a desperate depression, so I won't look...sometimes it is just better that way. Anyway, the next two weeks are crazy with parties and party food, choir productions, tutorial activities, blah, blah, blah. So, I will do my best, but I am not going to beat myself up over it and when I make my annual tray of goodies to send to Tigerfan's office, I WILL sample! I mean, I have to make sure they taste right!



So, one of my good friends sent me this in an email because she knows about my weigh in woes. Thought my Hottie sitters might enjoy it! I would love to give credit to the original author, but I don't know who it is, surely a Hottie in Training like us!


HOLIDAY EATING TIPS:



1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.





2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!





3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.





4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.





5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?





6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.





7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.





8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?





9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.





10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.





Remember this motto to live by:"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, what a ride!"Have a great holiday season.

4 comments:

P.S.He loves you.. said...

LOL!

thanks so much for your words of wisdom..just the other morning I was listening to a fitness motivational speaker and she said these words:
" Do not start a "lifestyle" change during the Holiday's unless you want to fail wait till after January 1st and instead just work in extra activities that require a faster heart rate pace"

She's the Author of "Never say Diet" and I'm planning to buy it after all the parties are over!

Fun post thanks!

Aimee said...

Haha! Love the holiday eating tips! I think I follow about 99% of them :)

Remember that calories eaten standing up don't count . . .although by that logic, I should weigh about 90 pounds!

Growin' with it! said...

here i was feeling all sorry for you and sympathizing. UNTIL you went and told us your weight.

i no longer feel sorry for you and i hope you eat to your heart's content the next few weeks. because you weigh WAY less than i do!!

with love,
mrs. santa claus (at least the size of her anyways)

Colored With Memories said...

so funny!

btw...i think you're doing great!