Friday, June 24, 2011

Hello Ladies...It's Been a Long Time!

Welcome back to the Tigerden. I've been MIA for awhile and, to be perfectly honest, today's post is sheerly by force and disciplining myself to do it. For one thing, I don't really like to join up unless I think I can make it around to visit all of you (it is the least I can do, really) and I cannot promise that this weekend. But I miss this like I'm gonna try. I'm also gonna try to be short, cause I have tons to do...but if you have been around much, you know that brevity is not my strong suit.

I mentioned last time that summer had been busy for us and that hasn't changed a bit...I don't foresee looking back on this season and remembering the lazy days of summer.

In fact, that is a big reason that I haven't been around. Well, that and the Casey Anthony trial that has me completely mesmerized...but I digress. That is also something that I have been struggling with and am trying to work through this summer. You see, and may remember, that it was last summer that I read a book that changed my entire perspective on things. It was the book "Radical" by David Platt. I am still changing and reevaluating as a result of that book (and, I feel the need to add, my subsequent time in scripture and prayer). Anyway, while I do not feel the need to earn my salvation and understand grace through faith. I have also come face to face with the fact that, if I am a christian I should be devoting myself to spreading the gospel, to reaching the unchurched and to ministering to those around me.

I confess, for many years my standard answer to this dilemma was..."my family is my ministry" and while that idea is good, I realize that I am deceiving both myself and my family. Nothing has done more to show me that than our time at an apartment complex where our church has a ministry. This year, I have seen how I have closed my eyes to the need right here around me. Precious children who live right across the street from a church and have NEVER heard the name of Jesus. Teenagers who are completely shocked when they hear stories about Jesus feeding the five thousand or walking on water. People, in the Bible belt, surrounded by christian people who have no idea Christ (or anyone else) loves them...not for their body or their drugs or their "stuff", but because they are. An entire complex of people that are lost and dying and DO NOT EVEN KNOW IT! It is sobering.

And so, my perspective and my priorities have changed. And that is good. However, the place I am struggling with is this. I am an introvert. While I enjoy being around people and laughing and having a good time, it is draining to me. I NEED my alone time. I NEED quiet moments away. I'm not sure someone who isn't an introvert can quite understand how draining it can be to just socialize...but that is me. This summer, I haven't had that alone time. My kids are home all the time demanding attention, I am trying to help with a sports camp this summer, participating in and planning VBS's, trying to have children's friends over, and keeping up with a few of the children from the apartment complex while we are on summer break. In addition, my nephew is staying with us for a couple of weeks and I am trying to plan and prepare for our trip to Idaho to visit with my family. While all of these things are good and I can't imagine what I could possibly give up, they have left me exhausted. In fact, yesterday I lashed out at poor dancer just out of the need for quiet alone time. Even getting on the computer and reading blogs is such an effort for me right feels like work, and so I have spent almost no time doing that.

However, yesterday, I read a blog I haven't read in weeks and the writer summed up what I am feeling. I have lost my ability to dream. I can think, I can plan, I can look at all that is undone before me and fret about choosing and ordering next year's curriculum. I can freak out at how I cannot afford next year's curriculum. I can think about how I totally need a job to pay for curriculum, but I am just too exhausted to even contemplate adding something else to the to-do list. I can think of ministries that are needed and organization that needs to be done...but I cannot dream, I cannot plan, I cannot even think of things to write (which you may disagree with as you look at the length of this "short" post). I have completely lost my blogging "mojo" and am completely without inspiration when I try to sit down and write. That makes me sad...because it is something I used to enjoy so much and I feel that I am losing a little piece of me. I am hoping it is just a season and that soon I will find that passion and fun again.

But for now, I guess I am just hoping that some of my sweet company girl friends would just say a quick prayer for me. That you would forgive me for not being around much and know that I do miss you. And if you have an extra moment, that you would pray I could find that balance. That I would be able to begin dreaming again and that I would learn to minister and reach out but also allow myself that time to be alone and recharge, cause like it or not, that is how God made me!

I totally did not know that this was going to become a whine-fest, but thanks for letting me unload on you poor, unsuspecting things. I hope everyone has and incredible, blessed, and RELAXING weekend! Don't forget to check out Home Sanctuary for more Coffee Talk!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Coffee Talk 6.10.11

Good morning ladies! It has been so long since I have been on here that I cannot even remember what was going on then. The days have been busy and blogging has fallen by the wayside. In order to not bore you to death with all the details, here is our life the past few weeks in a nutshell:

Dancer was finally brave enough to go forward and be baptized after a year and a half of trying to work up the courage!

School is out YAY! We aren't finished with math and will continue to do a little through the summer but the structure is out the window! Eventually I will have to get my act together and get grades turned in and start planning next year...that has not happened yet!

The day Tutorial ended I TRIED to get on a plane and head to Ft. Lauderdale to meet Tigerfan who was there for two weeks for work. After plane delays and going home for the night, I finally made it the next day and we got to spend a lovely weekend together (kid free). We shopped, I learned A LOT about South Florida culture (WOW!) and we visited Key West.
We FINALLY got the pool opened and have had people over swimming almost every day!

We have had VBS at church where I taught 1st grade and are now getting ready for a sports camp we do each summer for underprivileged children in our area.

Dancer had her dance recital (pictures eventually) and was a complete knock out! I celebrated my 39th birthday and today we celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary!

My Daddy introduced me to the world of Pocket Frog iPhone app and I have spent entirely too much time raising and selling virtual frogs (I know...pitiful!) and I have become completely and totally obsessed with the Casey Anthony trial.

So now you are totally caught up with the goings on in the Tiger den. Today will be full of swimming with friends, guitar lessons, library and feasting on egg rolls to celebrate 16 years of wedded bliss. Can't wait to catch up with all of y'all! Don't forget to check out Home Sanctuary for more (and more interesting) Coffee Talk!