Lessons

On the Lighter Side:

1. I'm just really not even in the running for Mother of the Year. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be supermom. But surely there are a few standards: like being able to walk through the house without tripping over a shoe or maybe being able to eat a meal without first moving a stack of school papers. Then there is always the chance they would interview my children. THAT would surely be the end of the line. Once they had a little sit down and found out from Football Boy that not only would I not encourage Daddy to quit his job and move us all to L.A. to start FB's acting career and then this week we said no to the basketball team--well, we can forget about a vote from our oldest!!!
2. If you go to Jason's Deli on Tuesday night. AND you order from the new girl who is not entirely sure what she is doing. You can feed a family of six for Eleven dollars and some change. Yes! ELEVEN dollars! Plus, she'll throw in a free pickle for Dancer who is devastated it didn't come with her pb&j! I can't even cook for that cheap! Now--if they will just keep hiring new girls...
3. If you stop exercising, drinking your 8 cups of water and drinking your green smoothies at lunch and replace all that with a diet of candy corns, popcorn & M&M's, and chocolate covered peanuts, all that weight it took months to lose will come back very quickly and you will begin to look pregnant again--really NOT a good look!
4. If you leave a pan of uncooked rice out (that was being used in an educational activity, of course) and a certain 21 month old dumps it all over the kitchen floor, Tigerfan will volunteer to vacuum it up while you get the children bathed. Wondering if this would translate to all the rooms of the house...I may just have discovered how to get the house vacuumed this week!

On the More Serious Side:

1. You may or may not know that this has not been the best school year we have ever had (okay, I kid, everyone knows that because I have whined about it non stop for the last week or seven). I have been on my knees more than I ever have in my life trying to figure things out. I will be honest. I have been not only frustrated but just plain mad at God for not "fixing" things for me. On the bright side, I have found a much deeper faith than I have had in the past because despite the fact that at some points I have really WANTED to just stop talking to God, I have found that I can yell and whine to Him and tell Him how angry I am, but I can't stop believing in Him or ignoring His presence and authority. I have been disappointed after pouring out my heart, waking up optimistically to a new day only to find it was worse than the day before--and I have cried out asking why and what was I supposed to do. Things haven't changed much, although I can start to see a shifting a bit. What has changed is my perspective. As an American, I have gotten used to a pretty easy life (still live one, as a matter of fact). My struggles revolve around plumbing leaks and money woes...but I HAVE a house, and a husband, and enough food for my family. I have thought a lot lately about my struggles, and they are real. They are painful and frustrating and exhausting! But God never promised an easy life. I think as Americans, we have grown to expect that, I know I have. But there are many beautiful christian people in other countries who will not have enough food to feed their families today. There are faithful, loving Christians that will go to jail, be beaten, and possibly martyred today in other places simply for their faith! Our life abundant is not necessarily an easy life void of problems...it is a life full of Jesus and of a hope a non christian just doesn't have!
2. Along these lines, as we have suffered through this year, I am learning that I CANNOT do this alone on my strength. I am out of fight. I am tired! But that is where, if I choose to, I can lay down and let my Father in Heaven fight for me. You see, all this time, I have prayed, asked for peace or help or something...and then immediately taken back the control and tried to do things on my own. And right now, my own just isn't enough. I have never really been stripped down to just total dependence on Him, and that is where I am. I admit, I don't like it. I am kicking and screaming and shaking my fist. But in those moments when I remember, I don't have to do it alone...in those moments, I find peace.
3. Be careful what you pray about. A few months ago in a Bible Study, we discussed the growth that you have during a struggle. I realized I had never really struggled through anything. I have healthy children--a healthy family, no marital problems to speak of...other than I keep leaving my shoes out and that REALLY irritates Tigerfan, no major financial woes, no prodigal children. For the most part, I have never deeply struggled. And so, without really asking, I asked. I wanted a deeper relationship with God. I wondered if I was tested, would I stand. And now, here we are. I must admit, though this trial has been quite small compared to what many suffer, God has allowed me to walk through a tough time--and I am embarrassed by my lack of faith, my lack of trust...I have been so easily shaken. And yet--I already feel a bit stronger, knowing that my God has not left me. Understanding that my answers aren't always His, but His are always better. I am not sure how much longer this time of learning will be--I think it is going to be a tough year! But I KNOW that I have a Heavenly Father that is walking through it with me. Thank God for that hope!

What I Learned This Week

I hope you'll stick with me. This week has been educational but only in the "we have been plagued with sickness and that is all I can think about" sense.

First, I have learned that no matter how many times you spray your house down with Lysol, somehow the germs remain and spread. According the our Dr. even seclusion cannot keep the pesky things at bay this year. Save your money from Lysol, your gonna need it for drugs!

Second, I learned that while they are sick, I allow my children to watch entirely too much unsupervised T.V. which is evidenced by the conversation I had with Dancer last night. I had cleaned out my jewelry armoire and brought her some necklaces to add to her dress up bag. She came running back to my room holding one. She was terribly excited. "Momma," she said. "I have seen another necklace that looks almost just like this on T.V....it's on Cash for Gold.com!" Why do I suddenly have the need to lock up all my valuables?

Finally this, and it is less than profound, people! But it is the best I have this week. In this less than stellar economy, I have often wished I could do something to bring in some extra cash. Unfortunately, I have no talent. At least none that people would pay for. So, in my time at home...and there has been A LOT this week, I suddenly came up with, what I feel, is a profound business opportunity!

I totally think that I, and other moms like me should rent our lives out to young, impressionable teens. I am telling you, this is birth control at its best. What better way to promote abstinence than to allow a teenager into my home this week. They can be an intimate part of the chaos that ensues when an entire house is plagued with illness. Imagine the possibilities as they participate in late night escapades like temperature taking, screaming, uncontrollable crying and countless nighttime visitors. Then, they can wake up at some ridiculous hour to begin caring for the pitiful bunch. Soothing, laundering, preparing food no one will eat and, of course Lysoling everything and chasing people down with germ gel only to get one child well as another goes down. They can experience the cries of missed activities, the joy of the Dr.'s office and the thrill of an overused pharmacy that can't keep up!

I figure I could earn a little extra OR they could pay me in help around the house and they get an education unlike any other...we all know experience is the best teacher. And let's face it, real life is nothing like the flour sack experiment from high school!

So, what do ya think...am I on to something?

For more What I Learned this Week, go to Musings of a Housewife!

What I Learned This Week

1. If you are doing your first ever bloggy giveaway and you moderate your comments, be VERY CAREFUL because if you highlight all said comments and then accidentally press reject...it erases them. All of them. FOREVER! If you are reading this and happen to be one of those unfortunate commenters who was forever erased, you might want to go back here and re comment before Wednesday so I will include you!

2. Apparently kindergarten cheer leading can be a very lucrative business. Friday, Dancer announced that she couldn't wait until Saturday! I, of course, had to ask why.

Dancer: very matter of factly, "Tomorrow, I get paid!"

Me: "And what are you getting paid for?"

Dancer: "Cheering."

Me: "You are getting PAID to do cheer leading?"

Dancer: rolling her eyes and looking at me as if I am the stupidest person ever, "No, Mom, Papaw pays me for GOOD cheer leading!"

So, there ya go...something you might want to check into in this repressed economy.

3. And on a more serious note, I am doing a great Bible Study written by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur...how can that NOT be a good Bible Study!?! Anyway, I have done a lot of soul searching and have really tried to apply the study. Maybe no one else has the problem I do...but I LOVE to do Bible Studies, love to learn and grow, but often when they are through, I find myself right where I was before. I am really trying to not do that this time. To dig deeper and do it more for me than for checking it off or so I am not embarrassed because I didn't get my homework done. So, this week, my AHA! moment came when thinking about where I have been, where I am now and where I want to be.

We talked about times when we have been angry or afraid with God and how we have to make the choice to move beyond those moments. I wouldn't say that I am angry with God...but I think I often question why. Why do we struggle financially when so and so doesn't? Why does that person seem successful in everything and I just struggle to make it through a day with clean clothes and safe children? Why is one person good at everything they touch and I am 36 and still haven't figured out what I am good at? Let's just be honest...why is she skinny, pretty, outgoing....when I still need to lose 10-15 pounds of "baby weight", my hair is stuck in 1990 and I freeze and want to run into a closet in any new social situation?

But this week, what I am learning is that I have allowed myself to become stuck in the why's instead of moving beyond them. I also realized that ultimately, I am terrified of failing. As a result, I have chosen not to do so many things I wish I would have done because I don't want to fail, don't want to see someone else do better, don't want to be heartbroken if I don't succeed. I often wonder how God is going to use me, what can I do...and this week I wondered...has He planned something for me that I have missed because I was too afraid to trust Him with it.

David wanted to build a house for the Ark, but God promised David to build a house for him instead and David praised God asking, "Who am I?" Have I missed that Who am I moment out of fear or busyness or lack of trust? I pray I haven't. So this week, I am going to try not to be afraid, to take a risk, to put myself out there and not wonder "what if" but rather "what if I don't?"

What I Learned This Week

Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife is starting a new carnival this week about what you learned over the week. I really hadn't planned on doing this. Because, well that takes a lot of thought and internal searching and I have been trying to do as little as possible of that lately.

However, I am also rather desperate for things to blog about so the need to blog overrides laziness!

So what have I learned this week?

I have learned, through Facebook, that it is incredibly hard to come up with 25 random facts about myself and that I am essentially a very boring person!

I have learned that I LOVE the fact that our school superintendent is from Florida and will cancel school at the mere mention of snow, ice, or even really cold temps. As a result, we are sitting home today (no tutorial) in perfectly fine weather, enjoying a free day and celebrating Tigerfan's birthday!

On a more serious note, I am learning about significance. It is something I have struggled with most of my adult life. Strangely, I was fine with anonymity when I was young. And I actually don't want a lot of attention now. I just want to feel like I have meaning. Like I have accomplished something great! And if I am honest, I want others to notice how great I am (for what, I am not sure). It is why I get down when only 5 people have read my blog in one day or when I think I write something really funny and no one comments. It is why I am scared to say anything in Bible study because if I think it is profound and someone disagrees, I would be mortified. It is why it is so hard for me to embrace the love and acceptance I am freely offered in Christ because I haven't done anything to earn it...so how can He even really notice me. I am struggling to learn, right now, that it is nothing I have done or will ever do that makes God love me. There is no accomplish good enough to earn His acceptance and no mistake bad enough to exclude me. I don't understand how He can create a huge universe and still know my name. But I know He does. I don't understand how I can do so little and be loved so much, but I know I am. So, I am significant. Not because of astounding beauty or great accomplishments or even my stellar wit and writing ability. I am significant because I am His. And that is enough!