Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What I Learned This Week
Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife is starting a new carnival this week about what you learned over the week. I really hadn't planned on doing this. Because, well that takes a lot of thought and internal searching and I have been trying to do as little as possible of that lately.
However, I am also rather desperate for things to blog about so the need to blog overrides laziness!
So what have I learned this week?
I have learned, through Facebook, that it is incredibly hard to come up with 25 random facts about myself and that I am essentially a very boring person!
I have learned that I LOVE the fact that our school superintendent is from Florida and will cancel school at the mere mention of snow, ice, or even really cold temps. As a result, we are sitting home today (no tutorial) in perfectly fine weather, enjoying a free day and celebrating Tigerfan's birthday!
On a more serious note, I am learning about significance. It is something I have struggled with most of my adult life. Strangely, I was fine with anonymity when I was young. And I actually don't want a lot of attention now. I just want to feel like I have meaning. Like I have accomplished something great! And if I am honest, I want others to notice how great I am (for what, I am not sure). It is why I get down when only 5 people have read my blog in one day or when I think I write something really funny and no one comments. It is why I am scared to say anything in Bible study because if I think it is profound and someone disagrees, I would be mortified. It is why it is so hard for me to embrace the love and acceptance I am freely offered in Christ because I haven't done anything to earn it...so how can He even really notice me. I am struggling to learn, right now, that it is nothing I have done or will ever do that makes God love me. There is no accomplish good enough to earn His acceptance and no mistake bad enough to exclude me. I don't understand how He can create a huge universe and still know my name. But I know He does. I don't understand how I can do so little and be loved so much, but I know I am. So, I am significant. Not because of astounding beauty or great accomplishments or even my stellar wit and writing ability. I am significant because I am His. And that is enough!