Monday, October 27, 2008

Conviction

You may have noticed that I am not exactly a deep thinker. I am that one in Bible Study who actually writes down exactly what is in my Bible or on a particularly profound day in my Bible commentary. I am the one who sits in awe when someone who read the same exact thing I did comes up with this profound meaning while I begin checking to see if we are reading the same Bible...cause I just didn't get that! I am a true Beth Moore wannabe! But, I "ain't!"

I have never aspired to be a great theological blog or really an inspirational one. I just started blogging as a way to stay connected with my family and the outside world, a way to stay sane. I have tried to be true to my faith and occasionally have made mention of what God is doing in my life, but certainly have not been profound in what I have said.

You can probably continue to expect that same level of mediocrity, because, that is just who I am. But, yesterday we had a revival speaker at church, and ya'll, he NAILED me! We live in some scary times. The economy is SCARY, the elections are SCARY, our education system (at least locally) is SCARY, the international issues are SCARY, the threat of terrorism is SCARY! But, we have a God that is more powerful than all of those things and I am not sharing him with people. We have a hope that is far greater than a president or a great teacher or even a Nobel peace prize winner. We have the Author of Peace, the Creator of the World, the Great Physician! The One and Only True God, there is no other, not money, not fame, not political power, not a great prophet or and under god. Just One and HE is in control.

I think of reasons all the time why I don't share my faith. I am home with my kids, I don't know any lost people, I live in the Bible belt...everyone knows God around here. I have shared a bit with my next door neighbor and I teach S.S. and tell my tutorial kids. But I am not passionate about telling people or sharing my faith with people. Yesterday, our preacher said to turn to the person next to you and just ask, do you know Him? I will show you. I will go with you. I will lead you. Do you want me to go with you? I looked around and my family was all around and I know that they know. So, I sat quietly and did nothing. Last night, he talked about our apathy. We live in a world that just doesn't really care that much, we don't have a passion. He asked, what could make me stop loving, serving God. Of course, the right answer is nothing. But in the middle of the night last night, I woke up from a dream about my sweet Dancer. My first thought was, God, please not my little girl. I will serve you, I will honor you, but please NEVER take my little girl...I am not willing to give her up. Then I heard Tigercub, stuffy and struggling to breathe in his baby bed and I thought, "not the baby, please never the baby!"

And I realized, I am not sold out 100%. Am I really willing to serve Him in thick or thin? In good and bad? What if something happened to a child? Would I still be faithful? Because really, I am not faithful now. I am apathetic, I find excuses, I go through the motions. But I want to be sold out. I don't ever want anyone to wonder where I stand. I don't want to get so bogged down in day to day that I forget the eternal.

So, in case you are wondering, this is where I stand. I believe in God the creator. A God, who through His own amazing power created land and sea, heaven and earth, animal and man in six days and rested on the seventh. I believe in His one and only son, Jesus, who left the glory of heaven and was born in poverty on earth, who lived a perfect life, who died taking the punishment of MY sins and who raised again to overcome death for ME...and for you. I believe that we are separated from God because of our sin but that He loves us enough to forgive us for those sins if we will just confess those sins and ask for forgiveness and I believe He has eternal life for us in Heaven if we will accept this free gift!

One day soon, I hope to add a page sharing my testimony and sharing my beliefs for anyone who may wonder or question, but for now, this will have to do. My prayer is that if ANYONE reads this blog and doesn't know Jesus, they will begin to ask, begin to question, begin to read their Bible. And, if anyone wants to ask me, I will always be here to share my faith and scriptures to back it up. If you don't have a Bible...I will get you a Bible. If you have a question, I will TRY to answer a question or point you to someone who can. So, thank you for letting me let it all out today! I feel much better now, and you can too, if you will only trust Him! So, I must ask: Do you know Him? Would you like me to go with you and show you how you can?

And now, in keeping with the lighter side of things, as our speaker was talking about apathy last night he made this comment which, do to my love of all things amish, I found hilarious: Sometimes when he begins sharing about Jesus, he can just feel how little people care, Like a bunch of Amish men in Circuit City! I'll just leave you with that! :)

4 comments:

Aimee said...

I've had many similar thoughts regarding God taking one of my children. I always breathlessly say "Please God, not the babies." But I recently heard a speaker who said, God will give us that which we love the most, but we have to be willing to surrender to Him that which is most dear to us in this life. That is HARD to contemplate, much less accept.
But I believe it. I believe that God will act in His own time, not mine.

This was a great post. Very heartfelt :)

Growin' with it! said...

relationships. that's what its all about for me. and sweet bloggy friend, you've always written posts that were way more than mediocre in my opinion!

and i've had the same feelings lately in this whole reason we are here on this earth. to know him and make him known. writing my "one month" post was what really got me thinking and i am more ambitious to invest more in these relationships with people who are lost so that not only do they see Jesus in me hopefully, but read it in my blog.

way to go sista. i truly believe that even our small steps given in trusting God can really make a difference. i love how you shared your faith here and i look forward to that next post!

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

ever since I've been coming to your post, I've never doubted for one minute that you did not believe in God. I've always felt the love that you have for others and that it can only be shown when a person is a believer in a Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ.
I hope that there maybe someone who was touched by this post enough to learn more about the two of them. Great job on offering to reach out to them.
I think you are just an awesome person and I only find that this post lets me know more what a wonderful person you are.
So inspiring as always. That's you...wonderful you.
Hugs to you! thanks for sharing, but I already knew! :-)

Happy Mommy said...

I have always enjoyed your posts! I like that you are real! I love that you share your heart with us!
I think from time to time as Christ followers we all find ourself in a rut. I know I can relate being a stay home, homeschooling mom also in a very "Christian Community" Sometimes we become to comfortable. I want fire that is uncontrollable also! Thank you for sharing!
Maybe we should do a testimony week or something?