Sunday, January 30, 2011

On a Roll

Years ago, I recall my parents calling my sisters and I in for a family meeting. While I am sure there were other items on the agenda that day, I remember only one. Toilet Paper. Yes, you read that right.

You see, like many other families...our budget was tight. Money needed to be saved and one way was through toilet paper. If you have many girls around, you know that where there are girls...toilet paper can be used in abundance. My parents had noticed that we were, apparently, "rolling" through toilet paper at alarming speeds. At the time, I'm sure it was a very serious topic, but I cannot help but laugh as I remember my mom explaining that they had figured out that...for most jobs, 5 squares was sufficient. I'm not sure where that number came from. I chuckle as I imagine the research involved (no, I am not going there). However they came to that decision, we were told to try to keep our TP usage to 5 squares a shot. They must have really ingrained it within me because, to this day I still remember sitting on the throne and counting squares.

I now live in a house with mostly boys. Dancer and I are the only regular "wipers". Somehow, we still manage to go through a 12 pack of double rolls with alarming "regularity" (sorry, I just couldn't help it). However, last weekend, we had a house full of girls. Dancer had an overnight party with four of her closest friends. Only 3 of them spent the night. About 10:30 or 11:00 p.m., one of the precious ladies informed me that we were out of paper in the downstairs bathroom. That bathroom is just a half bath and we tend to use the supplies slowly. I headed up to the closet to get a roll and a spare. (Someday, I hope that the males in the house will learn that the spare is there for the purpose of replacing the empty tube in the event they are the one who empties as not to leave the women folk stranded on the throne, but I digress). was 11:00 p.m. The girls went straight to bed after one last potty break and slept soundly until about 7:30 the next morning. We left the house about 9:00 a.m. for basketball games, and spent the rest of the day away from home with parties, birthday shopping, etc. Sunday, we went to church and lunch and spent the day napping and playing with the birthday girl.

Monday morning, I got up and did my morning routine (Bible and breakfast, exercise, etc.), got up the kids and began school. My morning routine involves drinking 2 1/2-3 cups of water, so by about 8:30...nature is calling. I went into the downstairs bath...and found myself trapped. Nothing on the roll. No spare. Really? I thought there was a spare. And then, it came to me. Three extra girls...all using one bathroom. We had managed to burn through two doubled sized rolls in a matter of hours, people. I am sure, through the years, we will find many other areas where we save money because the bulk of our family is male, however none may ever be quite as well illustrated as the truth of the tissue.

Rest assured, next time we have a girl's sleepover...they could very well be met with a sign on the bathroom door:

For most jobs: 5 squares is sufficient!!!


Katharine said...

LOL- I have been waiting for this post! I totally get this! We have four children...3 girls and a boy...'nuff said. Maybe I should make that sign for our bathrooms!

Lea said...

This is hysterical! Love, love, love this post! You have the greatest way with words and I really think you should submit this to Reader's Digest! No joke!

This is one of your all time best!

Happy week!

Anonymous said...

That is too funny! Okay, probably not for you while it was happening. There were 3 of us girls (oh our poor baby brother) growing up and this was probably the least favorite for my dad, buying tons of toilet paper, and all the stray hairs that get tangled in the vacuum cleaner. 5 squares, I'll remember that.

Dawn @ P.S.He loves you.. said...


jacque said...

Too funny! There are three girls in our house (5 if you count the animals thankfully they don't use TP). I had this same "talk" with my girls! However, we were less techical about it. Please only use the length of TP that equals from fingertip to elbow! Thinking about that now it probably is 5 squares! Have a great day!

Trina @ Joy and Contentment said...

Oh gosh, this is GREAT! Thanks for the chuckle!

Trina @ Joy and Contentment said...

Whoops! Premature publishing! That last link won't work. Sorry. :S

Belinda said...

I totally agree that TP is never replaced by the males (husband excluded) in our household!
Having 10 people here and two bathrooms - it seems that frequently - one of the BR is "without."

Seriously now - thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting.
You have been blessed with a gift for writing. I agree with Lea that you should send this in to Reader's Digest!

Have a great week - I hope it gets warmer for you - Only 33 days until spring!