Okay...I'm sorry, I am going to revisit a subject I said I would stop talking about, but~I DID IT!!! This morning, I ran about 2 1/2 miles without stopping. Yahoo! I know, for you real runners out there, that is child's play but believe me, for this non runner, that is HUGE! I don't know the exact distance, I just know I ran for 25 minutes and the website says that is about 2 1/2 miles.
I knew when I got up this morning that today was the day. And to be honest, I was dreading it! In fact, Wednesday was actually the day, but I had been fighting a cold for a few days and when I got up Wednesday, my sinuses were congested and my head was ready to explode and after about 30 minutes of trying to talk myself into going...I realized I just couldn't do it. Afterwards, I was really mad at myself because that is the first training day I have missed since I started this program. I think I decided that I would have to just start over from the beginning because I missed that day. Anyway, this morning I did it. It was tough. There were moments that were great and I was feeling really confident...and then I would have to run up a hill, so much for confidence. So here is my spiritual connection today...because you knew there had to be one. Toward the end of the run, it was getting tough...the road was inclining and I was getting tired and my Ipod died so I was just listening to my brain telling me I was surely going to die! I had been praying for my husband who is in a tough job situation. It isn't that he hates his job, it is just SUPER stressful and he is held accountable to do far more than one person can possibly do in a month. He works ridiculous hours and is constantly told to do more, get it done, take it home, etc. He would love to do some kind of ministry, but also feels the burden of supporting our family. He is frustrated and tired. He is running out of breath and the road is going uphill! We have been praying about it for awhile now. And to be honest, there are days my faith wavers. It is hard to understand why, when your heart desires to do ministry...you are tied to a job that leaves you dissatisfied, frustrated and with very little time.
I thought of some other friends of ours that are in a very similar situation. He hates his job and they have been praying for YEARS for other opportunities. He is still in the job he hates. I admit, I don't understand. Perhaps both he and my husband are making more of an impact where they are than we think. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that we are not really on this earth for our own pleasure...but for the pleasure of God...someday, we will be with Him in paradise, but for now we are in a fallen world that brings trouble and frustration. Anyway~ that is what I was thinking about as I was trying not to die! And I realized that I was making it just one step at a time. In that moment, I was just leaning on God to take me that one next step...if I had looked to the finish, I probably wouldn't have made it...it would have seemed too hard. And so, I just asked Him for the next step...one at a time. Before long, I caught that second wind and was able to finish...maybe not strong, but at least without passing out! :)
This week has been a little rough. School has not gone well and I will probably not be receiving mother or teacher of the year. By Wednesday, I was ready to pull hair out. The thought of continuing like we have been for the rest of the year is unimaginable. I am tired. I don't really want to keep going. And yet...I know that my Father in Heaven, my Sustainer, my Redeemer will help me take that next step. I cannot look to next week or next month or next year. I just have to trust Him right now, this minute, this step. He WILL be faithful. He will pull us through. He will give us hope because He is hope and at the finish line...we will be there, in His presence...so glad that we ran! He is worth it!
I hope and pray that all of my Company Girl friends know Him today. My prayer is that you know the name of Jesus and can call upon Him when your strength is gone. He is the way, the Truth and the Life, the Hope of our Salvation, the Good Shepherd, my Friend! I cannot imagine life without that truth! He is calling out to you today. He wants to help you with each step...will you let Him? Do you know Him?
Hoping you do today, and if you do not...please let me share Him with you today!
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