On a Roll

Years ago, I recall my parents calling my sisters and I in for a family meeting. While I am sure there were other items on the agenda that day, I remember only one. Toilet Paper. Yes, you read that right.

You see, like many other families...our budget was tight. Money needed to be saved and one way was through toilet paper. If you have many girls around, you know that where there are girls...toilet paper can be used in abundance. My parents had noticed that we were, apparently, "rolling" through toilet paper at alarming speeds. At the time, I'm sure it was a very serious topic, but I cannot help but laugh as I remember my mom explaining that they had figured out that...for most jobs, 5 squares was sufficient. I'm not sure where that number came from. I chuckle as I imagine the research involved (no, I am not going there). However they came to that decision, we were told to try to keep our TP usage to 5 squares a shot. They must have really ingrained it within me because, to this day I still remember sitting on the throne and counting squares.

I now live in a house with mostly boys. Dancer and I are the only regular "wipers". Somehow, we still manage to go through a 12 pack of double rolls with alarming "regularity" (sorry, I just couldn't help it). However, last weekend, we had a house full of girls. Dancer had an overnight party with four of her closest friends. Only 3 of them spent the night. About 10:30 or 11:00 p.m., one of the precious ladies informed me that we were out of paper in the downstairs bathroom. That bathroom is just a half bath and we tend to use the supplies slowly. I headed up to the closet to get a roll and a spare. (Someday, I hope that the males in the house will learn that the spare is there for the purpose of replacing the empty tube in the event they are the one who empties it...so as not to leave the women folk stranded on the throne, but I digress). Remember...it was 11:00 p.m. The girls went straight to bed after one last potty break and slept soundly until about 7:30 the next morning. We left the house about 9:00 a.m. for basketball games, and spent the rest of the day away from home with parties, birthday shopping, etc. Sunday, we went to church and lunch and spent the day napping and playing with the birthday girl.

Monday morning, I got up and did my morning routine (Bible and breakfast, exercise, etc.), got up the kids and began school. My morning routine involves drinking 2 1/2-3 cups of water, so by about 8:30...nature is calling. I went into the downstairs bath...and found myself trapped. Nothing on the roll. No spare. Really? I thought there was a spare. And then, it came to me. Three extra girls...all using one bathroom. We had managed to burn through two doubled sized rolls in a matter of hours, people. I am sure, through the years, we will find many other areas where we save money because the bulk of our family is male, however none may ever be quite as well illustrated as the truth of the tissue.

Rest assured, next time we have a girl's sleepover...they could very well be met with a sign on the bathroom door:

For most jobs: 5 squares is sufficient!!!