Coffee Talk 10.22.10

I thought I would hate it. I looked upon it with dread. I expected weeping and gnashing of teeth. And then, I became the mother of a teenager.

Ya know...it really isn't that bad! I thought little ones would be easier, I mean the worst that happens is you forget to tie the refrigerator up and you find a two year old scaling the shelves. Don't get me wrong, mothering toddlers and early elementary ages can be tough and totally exhausting...but they are little and cute and they say the greatest stuff!

Teenagers on the other hand...ugh. I thought of hormone changes and "the talk". I pictured the fights and power struggles. I prayed and hoped and researched military school (okay...maybe I didn't research military school...but the thought crossed my mind). Anyway. I now have a teenager. We have been traversing this path for about 6 months now...and I have enjoyed it! All of the sudden, the little boy who stayed little just a bit longer than most of his friends has blossomed into a young man. We can have talks that don't involve super heroes, shows from Nickelodeon, or weapons. He will sit and watch House Hunters with me and is genuinely interested in what that house will look like in the end.

I love that he came home from youth the other night and told me how amazing their speaker was and I love that he realizes FINALLY that if he gets done with school a little early, he can do an extra assignment or two and then Friday, he has an easy day! I have a little adult on my hands...and I LIKE it! Oh, we are still early in the game. I know there will be battles ahead, but I find myself really enjoying this stage of parenting and I didn't expect that.

Except for one thing. GIRLS! Don't get me wrong...I am fond of them. I am one, after all! Up until a month ago, they weren't even much of a consideration. Life has been hunting and school and hanging out with buddies. And then, a sweet girl entered the picture. Tigerteen (I am renaming F.B to something more appropriate) has been a little later developing an interest in girls and that has been fine by me. I have always known all his friends and had a few picked out for good first interests. I was FLOORED one day when a different girl came on the scene. They ran Cross Country together and became buddies. They like some of the same teams. She loves sports...all of a sudden, Sports Center is on constantly. She plays basketball, all of the sudden, he considers restarting his basketball career. She is a sweet girl from a sweet family...but I am NOT ready for this.

I am blessed, Tigerteen still talks to me. So far. And I feel I am balancing on this tiny rope between wanting to keep the lines of communication open and wanting to stick my fingers in my ears, sing, "La,la,la" and hand him an action figure! I don't want to start boy/girl stuff. I don't! I REALLY don't.

And yet, here we are. We have explained that they can be friends...but at thirteen, that is all they are...friends. We have explained that they can hang out with one another...with other friends or parents. We have met her parents and really like them...but thirteen? This is too young. It is too soon. I want to enjoy enjoying my teen a little longer.

We recently added texting to our cell plan. In 20 days, Tigerteen had almost 10,000 texts. No, that is NOT a misprint. We told him he had no privacy...as his parents, we had the right to all his passwords and to look at anything he does online or on his phone. So, the other night, we got out the phone and started going through. Just silly, teenage stuff. Kidding with buddies, kidding with his dad. And then...we got to the texts with "her". They had all been deleted. Every. single. one. What happened to talking to mom? I am sure the messages were innocent. I am sure he knew we would look and was afraid of Daddy giving him a hard time...but they were deleted. It was tricky, sneaky...and my trust has faltered just a bit.

So yesterday...we had to have a new kind of talk. One that involved rules about deleting messages, being friends and appropriate things to discuss with your thirteen year old FRIEND! I know there are heartbreaks on the horizon. I know that at thirteen, this will probably be only the first of many interests (although how amazing would it be if it was just a friendship that stood the test of time). I know that we have many other rites of passage before my young man becomes a young adult. But somehow, this one seems the hardest, at least so far. I foresee many hours on my knees and many tears yet to be shed...mostly mine.

Whatever happened to arranged marriages? Just asking?

Anyway, my sweet Coffee Talk friends, thank you for letting me vent...every week! I totally meant to rant about this earlier this week and just have a "normal" post...but I can't seem to get myself on this blog any other day. Also thank you to my precious friend from CiCi's corner. Do you know that she sent me the book, "Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad"? I have DEVOURED it and discovered that I have pretty much never done anything right. I have A LOT of work to do...someday I'll post before and after pictures and let y'all decide if it was worth it! For now, I have little ones who are expecting breakfast this morning so I must go. Hope everyone has an amazing weekend, look forward to visiting all the Company Girls. Don't forget to check out Home Sanctuary to visit everyone!